


Made a Map of Your Stars

by Agapostemon



Series: The Sound of Shattered Glass [5]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Established Relationship, Explicit Consent, Fluff and Smut, Grey-Asexual Shiro, M/M, Matt Holt has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, POV Matt Holt, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Sleepy Cuddles, Trans Matt Holt, Trans Shiro (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-24 02:23:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12002958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agapostemon/pseuds/Agapostemon
Summary: Shiro lost interest in the diplomatic document he’s reviewing almost 15 minutes ago. Matt knows this because he’s been paying more attention to Shiro’s face than to the old Altean field guide he’s supposedly scrolling through. He seems lost in his thoughts—eyes unfocused, mouth hanging open just the tiniest bit—but Matt can’t quite tell if it’s the good kind of lost or the bad kind. Usually it’s the bad kind. But tonight there’s something almost mischievous about the way the corner of his mouth occasionally twitches upwards.





	Made a Map of Your Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Content Warnings: Explicit sexual content, cursing, very subtly implied past sexual abuse and self-harm
> 
> Finally, a happy installation of this angst-fest of a series! Takes place at some point after [Staring on the Edge of Safe](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11974626), but can be read as a stand-alone if you just want... a soft, fluffy sex scene without several fics worth of intensely angsty backstory?

Shiro lost interest in the diplomatic document he’s reviewing almost 15 minutes ago. Matt knows this because he’s been paying more attention to Shiro’s face than to the old Altean field guide he’s supposedly scrolling through. He seems lost in his thoughts—eyes unfocused, mouth hanging open just the tiniest bit—but Matt can’t quite tell if it’s the good kind of lost or the bad kind. Usually it’s the bad kind. But tonight there’s something almost mischievous about the way the corner of his mouth occasionally twitches upwards.

Matt decides it’s time to find out. He sets aside his own pad on the bedside table and whines, “I’m booored.”

Astonishingly, Shiro responds by setting aside his own data pad, “Hm, yeah. Think I’m about done for the night, too.”

Matt’s eyebrows shoot up, “Well, that was easier than expected. Usually I have to fight you into relaxing with me.”

Without warning, Shiro flops backwards onto the bed and grins up at Matt as the mattress quakes beneath them.

Matt chuckles and returns the smile, “You’re in a good mood tonight.”

Shiro hums contentedly and rolls onto his side, curling around his boyfriend’s waist like an oversized cat, “Feelin’ cuddly.”

Matt beams down at him and fondly runs his fingers through his tuft of white hair, “You’re cute.”

“Can I kiss you?” Shiro asks.

“Yeah, of course!” says Matt, “Gonna be hard for you to reach from down there, though.”

“I didn’t specify _where_ ,” Shiro points out, mischief flashing across his face as he tugs up the edge of Matt’s t-shirt to plant a row of kisses along Matt’s side, “This okay?”

“Hey, that tickles!” Matt screeches with laughter, “But yeah, it’s fine.”

“Okay, good,” Shiro says, going in for another kiss. This one is slower, and Matt lets out a tiny, involuntary gasp as he feels his partner’s tongue press against his ribs. “How ‘bout that?” Shiro checks.

Matt bites his lip and nods, so Shiro continues his playful attack on his partner’s ticklish ribs. He uses his left hand to push Matt’s shirt up farther, until his thumb rests just below his boyfriend’s breast.

“I can lay down, if you want,” Matt offers in a whisper, as if speaking too loudly will break the spell.

Shiro nods, so they pause to reposition themselves. As soon as he lays down on his back, Matt becomes acutely aware of just how visible his nipples are through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. The realization that he _wants_ Shiro to see shoots through his gut like lightning and settles between his legs.

“So, uh…” Matt whispers breathlessly, “Are we, uh… doing this?”

“D’you want to?” Shiro asks cautiously.

Matt thinks for a second, then nods, “ _Heck_ yeah. What about you?”

Shiro smiles softly, “I’d like to give it a try, yeah.”

“Hopefully this time goes better than our past attempts,” Matt says with a nervous laugh, “Anything I should be careful about?”

“Just, uh…” Shiro looks sheepish, “Don’t say good boy. Please.”

Matt nods, “You got it. Uh, just that exact phrase, or should I just not… do the praise thing in general?”

“Praise is fine,” Shiro ducks his head bashfully, “Just that phrase. I’d like to… work on that later, maybe, but not right now.”

Matt gives him a thumbs up.

“What about you?” Shiro asks, “Anything I should know?”

“Oh,” Matt thinks again, “No, uh… no penetration? I don’t think… I just… it’s…”

“It’s fine, you don’t have to explain,” Shiro assures him.

Matt lets out a breath of relief and leans up to kiss this tip of his partner’s nose.

“So what would you like?” Shiro asks, pressing his thumb to Matt’s sternum.

“Could you keep touching, uh…” Matt mumbles, feeling his face burn, “Chest?”

Shiro nods. His face looks at least as red as Matt’s feels. Tentatively, he swirls a finger around one of Matt’s nipples through the fabric of his shirt. The sensation goes _straight_ to his crotch. It’s not the first time he’s let Shiro touch his chest, but it’s so much more _intentional_ This time. Usually it’s just somewhere to rest his hand while they cuddle.

Shiro relaxes after a moment, content that Matt is okay with what’s happening, and dips his head down to kiss the side of his neck.

Matt _squirms_. This is too much and not enough and he’s pretty sure he’s already soaked through his underwear.

Shiro pauses, sensing his boyfriend’s discomfort, “You okay, Matt?”

“ _Yes_ ,” he whimpers, “I just, uh… uh… could we… more?”

“Oh! Yeah, uh…” Shiro thumbs at Matt’s waistband, “Should I take these off?”

Matt nods, and Shiro makes a flustered attempt at removing his pants and underwear that ends in both of them giggling and Matt finishing the task himself.

Quietly, almost reverently, Shiro coats his index finger in slick and swirls it around Matt’s erection. “What d’you call this?” he asks gently.

Matt’s face flushes all over again, partially from the touch and partially from the question, “Uh, um… my cock.”

Shiro smiles, “Oh, we use the same word.”

Matt gives him a thumbs up, then raises his hips in hopes of encouraging his partner to do… _something_. He’s not sure what exactly, but he wants _more_.

“D’you want me to use my mouth” Shiro asks sweetly, as if it’s a perfectly normal question.

Matt bursts out laughing, “Kashi, what the _absolute entire hell_? How are you managing to be this smooth when you’ve literally never done this before?”

“What are you talking about? I’m having a heart attack as we speak,” Shiro retorts, “Are you planning on answering my question, or…?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Matt whimpers, “I would very much like you to use your mouth.” As soon as he says it, a million anxieties rush into his head at once. _Oh god, I haven’t showered in like three days. I’m probably gross. What if he thinks I’m gross? What if I smell bad? What if I taste bad? What if I do something awful and embarrassing?_

“Okay,” Shiro says simply as he repositions himself, “Tell me if I fuck up? I’m not kidding when I say I have no idea what I’m doing.”

But he could’ve fooled Matt, because a second later he’s engulfed by the moist heat of Shiro’s mouth and he’s half convinced he’s died and gone to heaven. He tenses his abdomen to get the full effect and gently tangles his fingers in Shiro’s hair. “Holy _fuck_ , this is so good. Your mouth feels _so good_ Takashi.”

Shiro responds with a pleased little hum and a gentle swirl of his tongue, and Matt becomes keenly aware that this isn’t going to take very long. Especially once Shiro starts _sucking_.

He comes within a matter of minutes. Shiro doesn’t seem to notice, so after a moment he gives his boyfriend’s bangs a gentle tug and sleepily whispers, “Okay.”

Shiro sits up, a fretful look on his face, “You okay?”

Matt smiles, “More than okay. Just done now. C’mere and kiss me?”

Shiro visibly relaxes and leans forward, but several inches before their lips connect he freezes, “I’m covered in, uh…”

“Shh, you’re fine,” Matt leans up and gives him a sloppy kiss, very much enjoying the fact that his boyfriend now tastes like him.

Shiro is surprised for a split second, but quickly melts into the kiss.

After they separate, Matt licks his lips and coos, “Your turn now? If you want, I mean.”

“I’d like that, I think,” Shiro responds bashfully, “If you’re up for it?”

Matt sits up and grins, “Okay. Gimme a minute to get cleaned up and get a drink of water. In the meantime, think about what you want?”

“Hey,” Shiro defends playfully, “Who said I don’t know what I want?”

Matt pokes his boyfriend’s nose, “Uh… you. Every single time we talk about this.”

“I mean…”  Shiro scrunches up his nose, “Fair.”

Matt grins and kisses his forehead as he stands up, “I’ll be right back. I love you! Think about what you want!” 

“Okay, okay!” Shiro laughs, “Love you, too.”

 

\-----------

  


Matt returns from the bathroom clean, hydrated, and still wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt. He plops down cross-legged on the bed, smiling over at Shiro, “So, you think about what you want?”

Shiro returns the smile, “Yeah, Actually. I did.”

“Wait, really?” Matt’s eyes widen with genuine surprise.

Shiro nods, “Yeah. Uh… it’s not really sex, exactly? But... remember a while back, you calmed me down from a nightmare by doing that, uh, touching thing?”

“Yeah,” Matt nods, “I remember. You liked that, huh?”

“Yeah,” Shiro’s blush deepens, “I was wondering if we could do that again, but this time, uh… my whole body?”

Matt grins, “I’d love to. You wanna, uh… take off your clothes for me, Kashi? And maybe your arm, while you’re at it.”

Shiro quietly obliges, standing up to shuck off his clothes and detach his prosthetic. Matt watches out of the corner of his eye—he doesn’t want to make things awkward by staring, but _god_ Shiro is beautiful. He watches as his boyfriend climbs back into bed and sheepishly pulls the covers over his lap.

“You ready?” Matt asks.

“Yeah.”

Matt leans in for a quick kiss, then sits back and gives his partner a reassuring smile, “Lay down for me?”

Shiro hesitates for a second, then pushes away the blankets before laying down, completely exposed and vulnerable.

A wave of affection crashes over Matt as he takes in the sight. “Where d’you want me to start?”

“Anywhere is fine,” Shiro says, letting his eyes fall closed. His breathing is measured, like he’s consciously trying to stay calm.

“Okay,” Matt responds, reaching out to run his fingers down his boyfriend’s ribs, “Let’s start the same place you started with me?”

Shiro squirms and chuckles at the sensation. “Okay,” he agrees, allowing his breathing to return to a more natural rhythm, “Okay, this is good.”

“Good,” says Matt, tracing his index finger back up his partner’s ticklish ribs until he reaches a thick scar that traces the bottom edge of his right pec. “A good scar,” he declares, tracing the length of it and then repeating the motion for its twin on the left side, “They’re not all bad.”

Shiro smiles, eyes still closed.

“Whole body means I can touch anywhere, yeah?” Matt checks, hand hovering over his partner’s chest.

“Yeah.”

Matt grins and flicks a fingernail over Shiro’s left nipple, enjoying the pleased hum he gets in response. He bends forward to plant a series of wet kisses all over his partner’s neck and collarbone as he smooths his hand down his chest, rakes his fingernails over his ribs, tenderly traces every scar he can reach. Shiro _melts_ under every touch.

He pauses and sits up when he reaches the brand on Shiro’s shoulder. The Galran numbers are mostly obscured by a web of thin scars, now. Matt leans down and gives the spot a soft kiss before he continues his gentle exploration of Shiro’s body.

Once he’s sure he’s touched every available inch of Shiro’s upper body, he runs his hands down to rest on his partner’s hipbones. He lingers at the claw-mark scars he finds there, rubbing soothing circles with his thumbs as if he’s trying to erase the scars and everything they imply. He does the same for the matching scars on his thighs before gently spreading Shiro’s legs so he can trace the creases where his legs meet his groin.

Then, tentatively, he rests a thumb against Shiro’s perineum, “This okay?” Shiro nods, so Matt runs his thumb upwards, slicking it and brushing it over his partner’s half-hard cock. Fire settles in his gut. _God_ , he would love to fuck Shiro right now. Press deep inside him with his fingers or a strap-on and find out what kind of noises he’d make.

But that’s not what _Shiro_ wants—not right now and maybe not ever—so he tucks the thought away for future inquiries and daydreams. This is about what _Shiro_ wants. So he returns to the task at hand, licking his thumb clean (noting Shiro’s blush as he does so) and planting a fluttery kiss on the inside of his partner’s thigh. “You’re so good, Takashi,” he murmurs, “I love you so much.”

“You too,” Shiro hums sleepily. A second later, he reaches up to tug at Matt’s shirt sleeve, “Come lay on me?”

“On you?” Matt checks.

“Mhm,” Shiro tugs at his sleeve again, so Matt obliges his request and drapes himself on top of his boyfriend, head resting on his chest.

“This what you wanted?”

“Yeah,” Shiro nods, his chin rustling Matt’s hair, “Proprioceptive sense. Soothing pressure.” He drapes his arm around his boyfriend’s back and kisses the top of his head, “See, I do remember your science jargon occasionally.”

Matt giggles. Now that he’s laying down, he’s acutely aware of just how sleepy he is. He’s about to ask Shiro if he wants to get ready for bed, but a familiar lawnmower-like snore answers his question before he can voice it.

Well, he supposes. This is as good a position as any to sleep in.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from [Venus by Sleeping At Last](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFTs2K8rOTs)
> 
> If you wanna come say hi, I'm [Agapostemon](https://agapostemon.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr!
> 
> Please remember that I write purely for fun and catharsis. My fics are unbeta’d and minimally proofread. They’re not perfect, and that’s okay. If you notice something I could fix or improve, please keep those thoughts to yourself. If I genuinely want critique, I’ll ask a close friend in private. **Surprise critiques are very stressful and discouraging.** Thanks for understanding!


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